Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Disappointing Disrespect
It's the second time. The second time I trusted them and they let me down. They apparently don't care about our friendship. They blatantly let me down and are now pretending like nothing has happened. Well, I will be civil and see them once in a while, but they aren'y worth my time. People that pull you down over and over are not worth it. I've tried and put in the most amount of effort, but I am exhausted in every possible way.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Something Different
I’ve had enough ranting about my messed up life for a while.
All of that is superficial and I’ve realized that no matter how hard I try to
fix everything, there will always be something that I am not happy with. It’s
just life, and as cheesy as it is, its true; it will get better.
So, on to other pressing matters. Not really. But it is
something I have been thinking about lately.
I love to write. I guess it runs in the family because both
my dad and my sister love to write. My sister was the editor of our college’s
newspaper and now, after she graduated she helps organize and write for a blog
of graduates and early career starters. I am definitely not as good as her but
it is still something I love to do. I may not have all the mechanics down and
rules of grammar, but it make me happy. For me, writing is an out for any type
of stress or confusion (music is the same way for me but that will be another
post). It gives m freedom to say what I
want. Because I am not the most vocal about my feelings and like to keep stuff
bottled up and drama free, writing is there for me to let it out. The English
language can be beautiful and life changing. One sentence can be influential in
someone’s life. I want to always strive to do that someone else because I have
had that with many writers and poets. Creating something that has never been
said before is exhilarating. It’s your own. You created it into being. Writing
is an outlet for words to be put together. I also believe they are meant to be
shared. Although I don’t read enough, publishing is necessary. Writing is necessary
for people to gain knowledge, necessary for creativeness, and even for
emotions. It gets people to think (like I hope this post is doing!). Writing is
everything or whatever you need it to be for yourself. So I will continue to do
it. When I need break, I will pull up a blank document or pull out a pen and
paper. And write.
Friday, August 9, 2013
The Hardest of Days
If I’m writing honest, today was by far the worst day this
summer. Let’s begin with this morning. I woke up late and felt groggy all
morning. I say woke up late because I was supposed to take a test for my online
history class at 10:00am. But instead I took it at 11:30. Not only that but
when I went to submit the test, something must have happened and I am still not
sure to this minute if my professor has my answers to the test, and we only get
to take it once. On to the next thing; I was hoping to get some money for some
books that I used last semester. I went to school and how much money do I get
for 5 books? 7 fricken dollars, not ok. (That is superficial but hey, I paid
quite a bit more for them then that). The next thing was more sad then
frustrating. Maggie is leaving tomorrow for Ghana. I won’t see her for 7
months. Today I had to say goodbye and it wasn’t pretty. That’s all about that.
And last but not least, at the dinner table we talked about my dog. She is a
very old and showing signs of that “oldness” that are becoming more and more
apparent. Of course my mom cried and wanted us all to go to the vet to find out
all the problems that she has. That dog has been with us for 13 years. That is
13 years of my 19 years. I was 6 when we got her for Christmas and now I’m not
sure she will be with me while I go on to my 20th year. So that was
my day today. Thank you for reading my rant. It is much appreciated. I am now
going to play music, then surround myself in pillows and watch movies. What a
fun Friday night, huh?
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Current State
"Vous Etes Mon Coure (You Are My Heart)"
Gungor
Where have you hidden yourself oh my beloved
You fled having wounded
I pursued but you had gone
In search of you my darling I would scale the highest clouds
Scour wooded valleys, roaring torrents whispering gales
Vous etes mon coeur
When you first regarded me
Your eyes filled me with grace
Thereby again my eyes
Merited to adore you
Vous etes mon coeur
Where have you hidden yourself oh my beloved
You fled having wounded
I pursued but you had gone
In search of you my darling I would scale the highest clouds
Scour wooded valleys, roaring torrents whispering gales
Vous etes mon coeur
When you first regarded me
Your eyes filled me with grace
Thereby again my eyes
Merited to adore you
Vous etes mon coeur
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