Friday, June 14, 2013

The In-between


Loving someone is a hard thing. Even liking someone is hard. But when you have to “quite cold turkey” it is the worst thing in the world. Yes, its happening to me this summer...what else is new. I say that because I fell into a cycle of liking guys then knowing it won’t work and having to stop liking them. It happens every year. I’ll be the first one to admit, I am horrible with guys. I also admit I was never asked to a dance, or been on a date with a guy. I wouldn’t say I am mad or even sad about it but its just a little bit frustrating knowing that I am feeling more and more confident about myself and my body and it seems as though no one is noticing. I’m not pining for a boyfriend but sometimes its nice not to be a third wheel or help friends get ready for dates with their boyfriends of one or two years. I guess what I am trying to say is that I’m lonely.  Most of my friends are working or out of state and I am stuck at home; sitting on my ass and not being productive with my life. Sure my summer class starts soon but its not going to take over every weekday or weekend. I will have free time. The cycle continues. I’m stuck between liking and losing someone. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Again. I’m in-between liking myself and feeling sorry for myself when I should be involved in other things. So once again, I'm stuck.

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