Twenty Minutes and Seven Songs

Disclaimer: This is a depressing post and complete throw up from my brain.

I just layed on the floor of my bedroom of twenty minutes. That's the kind of day it was today. My mental health is not taking it well. Honestly I think I over did it.

Went to two grocery stores looking for leaf bags
Had a house meeting in which one person talked the whole time
Raked wet moldy leaves into bags
Stopped after not even a third were picked up
Called my parents
Had a melt down because no one helped me
Tried to do homework
Watched a movie instead
Actually did homework
Watched some YouTube
Tried to eat dinner but wasn't hungry
Decided to  dust just about everything in my room
And then landed in the middle of room, on my back
All while seven songs just kept going...

Isn't it funny how humans work? I did all these things around people but yet I was still completely alone. No one spoke to me (except the phone call). No one needed my help. No one asked me anything. No one spoke to me for the entire day even though there were billions of billions of conversations happening around the world. Not one pertained to me and I don't think I give a damn. Sorry for the harsh language but it is true. Do you ever have those days? Where no one bugs you or no one needs you? I think I am starting to have more of them. No one expects anything from me. No one needs me. No one wants me. No one supports me. No one understands me. No one relays on me. And so I escape from life. I live life through the internet. The songs were online, this blog is online, the movie I watched was online. I life my life vicariously through my computer and my room. I don't think it is healthy. I don't think it right and yet I need it. I need to escape. Otherwise I will explode. We are taught to let our feelings out but I am afraid. Of the people that don't care. Of the people that do care. Of the people that don't know me. Of the people that I don't know. I'm a coward.